It was becoming a gloomy day and the clouds had taken on a grey colour. Instinctively, I knew it was going to pour down very soon-and heavily. My mood matched the day’s weather-from happy and cheery in the morn to quiet, sombre, meditative and grey. I felt the need to clear my head but didn’t want to go out into the afternoon winter cold. So I scurried to my bedroom, opened the blinds and sat by the window, looking out into the forming grey sea.

This wasn’t unusual for me as I was becoming familiar with my current mood, mastering the art of looking out into the abyss-whatever I decided to turn into one-and ponder on my thoughts. That day, my abyss was the sky.

As I carried on looking out, my attention shifted away from the gloom glaring back at me to the words I found myself consistently repeating ‘do not be anxious over anything. Consider the birds of the sky, they neither sow nor reap but your heavenly father cares for them, how much more you’. These were the words of Jesus from Matthew 6.

On days when I knew the reason for my anxiety, after a few repetition, I felt a sense of calm and returned to whatever task that kept my hand busy before being rudely interrupted by anxiety. But on that day, repetition wasn’t helping. I wasn’t just anxious but was also filled with a deep sense of fear.

As I fixed my gaze upwards, my eyes caught a bird flying past. I thought-‘poor thing, flying out there in the open, left so exposed’. Immediately, I realised how silly that sounded in my head and reiterated- ‘c’mon girl, birds are supposed to fly out in the open and you can safely say they reside in the heights above’.

My feelings took a turn down towards jealousy lane. ‘I wish I am a bird’ I whispered to myself. Out there in the open with no care about who is watching them from below, with no worry about being a potential target. They get to fly as high as they want, to breathe in the crisp morning air with every sunrise, getting the best view of our surroundings when they rest on tree branches. They get the best of both worlds-ours and theirs-they can rest on land or fly up in the sky at the flap of their wings. They get to be closer to heaven than we terrestrials who take up residence here on earth.

Once I was done with envy, I heard me ask myself; what’s stopping you?

Few moments later, my mind took it’s place at the battle ring, prepping itself for the wrestle we were about to have.

It asked again, what’s stopping you lil’ miss?. At the second question, I knew it was time again for our lecturing session.

Birds are made to fly(exception to flightless birds), it’s in their DNA, it’s what they are meant to do and a bird won’t feel purposeful unless it is high up in the sky. As a young chick, it looks fragile being cared for by its mamma. I’m not an ornithologist or a bird watcher, but common sense tells me a bird won’t fly until it is ready, until its wings are strengthened and it is finally strong enough to spread those God given wings, flap them and fly. Common sense also tells me that a bird doesn’t sit and ponder: What’s my purpose? What are these wings for? When is it the right time for me to leave the nest? Will I ever be ready or will I ever fly high enough? It doesn’t remain in the nest, it doesn’t give up and just accept that it is where it’s meant to be.

When ready to fly, it doesn’t hover on ground level but goes up high into the sky where it belongs, out in the open, not worrying about who is watching from down below.

As I kept contemplating, trying my best not to find any correlation with my current situation and how this applies to me, a bird perched on the ground and I thought ‘Aha! Some eventually get tired of staying up in the sky. But my (not so)clever mind caused me to pay close attention to it; It was perching through the dirt looking for something. And so, I was reminded that a bird dwells on the ground for many valid reasons but never idly- could be in search of a prey or food or because of a broken wing but it doesn’t stay for too long.

Just like a bird, we all have our God given talents which we like to conceal as ‘hidden talents’. We are all created uniquely, with something to offer our world. Some of us have figured it out and some are yet to. But for those who have an itch, consistently resisting the urge to scratch, to go out there in the open without the fear of risks and to let the world see you, this is your sign!

And so, I leave you with the question: what’s preventing you from flying high up in ‘your’ sky?