Recently, I desired something that didn’t want me.

Quietly I’d sit and imagine how much better life would be with the object of my desire. I prayed and thought of ways I could keep it, and with every attempt I put in motion, my desire launched itself farther from my grasp.

It hurt! Badly! I knew I deserved better than to long for this mediocre but it didn’t help knowing this truth. And up till this day, my chest tightens as the realization hits me that it may never be mine. I want to cry but the trickling of tears will depict failure- failure to get the thing I want. So my tears remain imprisoned within me, trapped in those glands that house them as I firmly hold on to HOPE.

Does this feeling resonate with you? Do you feel pained that something or someone you love does not love you back with the same fervour?

Then I pondered…

Is this the way God feels when we don’t return His love? When we pine and ache for something else other than Him? Day and night, He longs for us to sit with Him, to dwell in His presence but yet we go chasing after other things. I have heard it been said repeatedly and have read in the Bible about how God longs after us and how it hurts Him when we disregard His laws and commands but to feel it(though a tiny fraction), to understand those words via feeling hits differently as I am now in a position of not receiving despite giving out love.

I can boldly say that it hurts not to be wanted by what we want, nevertheless, we have a God who envelopes us with an unimaginable, everlasting love that can overshadow all the neglect we get from those irrelevant things.

Though my want doesn’t want me and my desire has no regard for me, I am joyful that there is a greater love that I need because it is far more important than anything I will ever desire!

And this quietthought lured my fingers to my keypad…