Dear Sadness,

Why are you my muse, my (not so) cherished companion?.

Why do you compel me to do that which happiness can’t attempt, the reason why I put pen to paper or can I say fingers to keypad?Why are you the face I seek when darkness looms?Why do I feel tempted to run to your embrace?. Most times, I refuse to let go of you and prefer rather to let you overwhelm me while I throw away consolations to the wind.

I need answers because there are tons of questions racing in my head, exchanging the baton between them even before they finish their lap. I can’t seem to get the answers I need and so, I am left in this hole. I admit that sometimes I come seeking you, but lately you’ve been doing the seeking even when I’m completely in control of a situation.

Sadness, you don’t inform me on time before your arrival, before you hit the road and land on the gate of my mind. As if that’s not bad enough, you bring unwanted visitors, unpleasant memories of the past. You knock incessantly and ask carelessly for me to let you in, to offer you a sit at the table. The other guests don’t want you there and your presence alone quietens them. Happiness and joy curl up into their shells, confusion retires to it’s nest, even anger who is always raging and burning hot becomes still and quiet. The only emotion I believe that accommodates you is disgust and that is only because it gets its opportunity to snarl at me, the only time it withdraws its attention from the outside world and focuses internally, on the one person in whom it resides. And so, I’m left all alone with you in front of me and disgust on my side, you both glaring at me as I try so hard to convince happiness to stay.

Well, I want you to know that you do have a place at the table as long as you sit quietly and don’t intimidate others(excluding disgust). Know your place and become visible only when needed, when I give permission for you to surface. Don’t interrupt other emotions by bringing up memories of the past that puts the spotlight on you. Stay still and only surface when I want you to.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to deny your existence I just want you to understand that I’m in control!. So in as much as I will feel sad sometimes, I’m not going to allow you overwhelm me and the others. We’ll take turns, allowing everyone to express themselves when appropriate.

I hope this message finds you well.

Lots of love.

💗